You write with the eloquence of a Nigerian prince
Tag Archive for funny joke
If the news was a person, we’d hate that bastard. “oh no, here comes the news.” “Get the he’ll away from me you negative depressing trying to scare me with bullshit square jowled ridiculous named motherfucker! And shut the fuck up about the god damned economy!”
You know a lot of people don’t like sex, but if it wasn’t for sex, none of us would be here.
I’m on the new Hollywood diet, It takes a lot of discipline, none of you could do it.
I only eat dysentery, which helps my body squirt the weight out. It works very quickly, and I was amazed seeing how much excess weight is just brown mush.
Is biology the science that’s sometimes gay?
Or is it just the study of ‘two’ things
I’d be a lot better at revenge if I wasn’t so lazy. I can’t even motivate myself to make a list of people to enact sweet vengeance upon.
I would say we’re at the height of human achievement, except for the fact that people still don’t know how to pee inside a toilet.
if I was a doctor, every April fools day I would tell all my patients that they have cancer, then after they freak out, tell them April fools. It would be unfortunate for the patients that actually have cancer, because I would have to tell them a second April fools and that the first April fools was the April fools.