Travis Tells Jokes – Revenge

I’d be a lot better at revenge if I wasn’t so lazy. I can’t even motivate myself to make a list of people to enact sweet vengeance upon.

Travis Tells Jokes

I would say we’re at the height of human achievement, except for the fact that people still don’t know how to pee inside a toilet.

I’m going to low ball you like an old man on a hot day

Travis tells jokes

I’m the best at procrastinating. If procrastinating were an Olympic event, I wouldn’t show up

Why I Hate Going to the Theatre by Abraham Lincoln


A posthumous autobiography

Let’s Fuck Some Shit Up by Mother Teresa

She spent her whole life partying, she knows what she’s talking about 

I Hate All of You by Mahatma Gandhi

A must read 

Norovirus causes mass vomiting at SoCal university, Norton Antivirus claims students should have clicked the checkbox to enable software in the toolbar

The Daily Paper NewsDec 9, 2015 | T. Doeringer

Harry Potter, what’s good


The Teacher

Teacher: help, I’m drowning!
Kid in a row boat: can you reach my oar?
Teacher: I don’t know, can I?
Teacher drowns
As the teacher sinks, their last thought is: ‘haha, classic’

Science disproves ‘i’ before ‘e’ except after ‘c’ rule

Scientists discover that doctors are idiots, four out of five doctors disagree

Beautiful Jokes: Winter Games


Family Business

Growing up, my dad was strange. I know there’s family businesses, but strip clubs should not be one of them..

Vicious Alien Attack 

Alien attack