Archive for Moviefilms

The Force Awakens Alternate Ending




Action Movie Sex Decision

We get to the end of the action movie and my wife must decide which of us is the evil robot clone and which of us is her husband. 

I suggest she has sex with both of us as that would surely make it clear which of us is truly her husband. After an intense bout of serious doing it, I look into her eyes and tell her she just had sex with a robot. 

She shoots me. 

Worth it.

Burt Macklin Dinosaur Hunter

Burt Macklin Dinosaur Hunter

Burt Macklin Dinosaur Hunter

Starring Burt Macklin as Burt Tyrannosaurus Macklin 
and Janet Snakehole as Janet Snakehole

Harry Potter Deleted Scenes

“Freak, you’re a freak Lily” shouted Petunia.
Lily turned with a glare in her eye and blasted Petunia with the paguras curse, making her a bitter resentful crab of a person who could only marry the worst sort of people and have monsters for children. For Lily was a truly vengeful person who took shit from no one, even her beloved sister. Then she and Snape snogged under the old willow tree to the dismay of James, the new boy in town.

The Holiday – Alternate Ending


Hipster Harry Potter


Carrie vs Carrie Diaries

Carrie vs Carrie Diaries

When Carrie Bradshaw mistakenly bullies Carrie White, the pig’s blood hits the fan.

Final Hunger Games book to be turned into 27 movies, one for each chapter

Hunger Games 3 chapter 1

Hunger Games 3 chapter 1

The Daily Paper News

May 29, 2014 | T. Doeringer

Lionsgate has stated that they like money and for that reason, they plan to stretch out each of the 27 short chapters of Mockingjay into its own movie to increase profits.

How will there be enough plot to fill a 2 1/2 hour movie from a few pages, “doesn’t matter” says studio head Don Honson, “it’s got Jennifer Lawrence, everybody loves Jennifer Lawrence.”

Fans were outraged at the news and plan to express that outrage by only seeing each movie once, or maybe twice at the theaters before buying the special editions on DVD.

With one movie coming out per year, Jennifer Lawrence will be 50 years old when the final movie is released, will she be too old to play the action star, “doesn’t matter” said Honson, “everybody loves Jennifer Lawrence.”

Indiana Jones 5: The Dark Tower

Indiana Jones finds himself pitted against German engineers bent on building a new Tower of Babel to give them direct access to heaven – in order to invade it.Indiana Jones Crystal Skull1

The Hobbit 6: The Elongation Ends

The fly pages are magically transformed from a blank canvas to a thrilling journey of little people fighting big things. And there’s a wizard and an elf lady to make things interesting.

we're hobbits

we’re hobbits

The Hobbit 5: The Dragon Out

The ‘about the author’ section becomes the next exciting installment of the Hobbit franchise

I need a hobbit

I need a hobbit

The Hobbit 4: The Distending

The table of contents is stretched into 3 more hours of exhilarating Hobbit action

the hobbit 4

more hobbit

The Usual Suspects II – Lady Soze’s Revenge

An enraged Karen Soze goes on a do or die revenge mission to track down and kill her husband Kaiser Soze after he shot her and their children to prove his strength of will. Along the way she learns she must have more will if the hunting is to end in a kill.

It’s Kill Bill meets The Usual Suspects

Deleted Scenes – Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows