How I would die
If I was mortal, here are some of the ways I’d like to go out:
• Eating sushi till I explode.
• Failing to disarm a huge bomb. At two seconds, I’ll cut the red cord, which speeds up the timer for the last two seconds and boom.
• In a samurai sword fight against a few hundred Yakuza soldiers.
• Falling from a plane at 30,000 feet (which I’d survive, it’d be the alligators in the swamp that take me out).
• On the titanic, wailing on my harmonica.
• In a light saber battle.
• In a gladiator arena, vs a tiger.
• Attempting to jump the Grand Canyon without a running start. And singing ‘I Believe I can Fly’ all the way down.
• Getting trampled at a Black Friday event.
• By a terminator.
• Riding a missile.
• Russian roulette. At a nice seedy underground place with international playboys and royalty watching on.
• In the Hunger Games.
• By a wizard.
• In a real life game of Choose Your Own Adventure.
• In a real life game of Oregon Trail. Yes I know it actually existed, but I want a real life game, where my choices lead to dysentery. But not without some awesome hunting along the way.
• On an asteroid, sacrificing myself to save my daughter and her loser boyfriend, while Aerosmith plays live on the asteroid. Yes, they die with me, which they’re okay with because that’s awesome.