The creative team has assembled to come up with a new slogan for Starbucks.
Director: Alright team, hit me.
Carli: Starbucks, we’re your only choice.
Barbs: Starbucks, we have cream and sugar, you’ll need a lot of it.
Cheedo: Starbucks, once you go black…
Director: I’m going to stop you right there. I’m not sure those slogans capture the essence of our brand.
Skasha: Starbucks, yeah, we’re still doing the venti grandé thing. Fuck you.
Carli: Or, Starbucks, we invented Ariana Grandé.
Barbs: Starbucks, dark roasts for light people.
Cheedo: Starbucks, we’ll make you shit.
Director: Guys, these are awful, now come on, I need a winner.
Carli: Starbucks, go fuck yourself
Carli: Because we can.
Barbs: Because we care.
Skasha: Can we officially change our name to Starfucks?
Cheedo: Or even better, Buttfucks!
Director: We’re not changing our name, and don’t give me any more fucks.
Skasha: Never do.
Carli: Here’s a drawing I did for a mascot, his name is Dr. Bloodstool. See, he’s a bloody piece of poop. And he says ‘Remember to drink lots of Starbucks’ in a silly little voice.
Barbs: Maybe make it should look more like a baby, to connect with the female demographic.
Carli: Ooh, that’s good, a bloody poop baby that loves Starbucks.
Director: No, that is not good, clearly I’ll have to do this myself.
Director: Okay, give me a mockup of that poop baby.